Dumb First Date Moves

There are several moves we can consider as dumb first date moves. Guys feel they are experts in the Art of Dating but we make a lot of mistakes. Now, they say ‘first impression matters’, it applies in every aspect of life, my dear readers. Let’s check out 9 Dumb first date moves;

1. Expect her to pay

The biggest rule with money and dating is to never let money cause awkwardness. Don’t look at money as a tool in your arsenal…think of it as a bomb you don’t want to go off.
For example, most women will expect you to pay for at least most of the first date. In an age of equal-pay laws, you can be political about this, but what’s the point? Plenty of things in our world are illogical, and you’re not going to get much sympathy talking about how men get a rough deal in society. Assume you’re paying.
Now, some women will resent the notion that they need to be paid for on the first date. So if she insists on splitting the bill or paying for some activity even after you’ve declined her offer once, then let her. It’s that simple.

2. Take her somewhere super expensive

This is a more subtle flaw than expecting her to pay, but it can be just as devastating.
A lot of women will be turned off by an overly-expensive first date. They will be anxious that you will “expect something” at the end of the night for what you spent. Or they will wonder if you have so little going for you that you essentially have to try to buy affection.
Even if she’s not turned off, overspending can be counter-productive. A friend of my ex-girlfriend was being pursued by a rich businessman from Dubai. He flew her around, bought her jewelry, and spared no expense. I asked her how he was in bed. Her response: “Are you kidding? I’m not going to sleep with him. if he’s spending this much to pursue me, I’m going to keep the chase going as long as I can.” Cool, right? Yeah! I thought so too.

3. Over-investing

The Dumb First Date Move number 2 was over-investing financially, and #3 is over-investing in any other way. When I was in college I invited a woman to my place for dinner. I cooked a delicious meal from scratch and organized my apartment to be lit entirely by Christmas Light. It looked beautiful. It was romantic. And it was a complete failure.
Over-investing on the first date sends the same kind of signals as telling a woman you just met what an amazing person she is. It makes most women uncomfortable, because she knows she hasn’t earned the value you are placing on her yet. So your affection isn’t about her – it’s desperation, or a mechanical desire to be with any attractive woman you see. Neither point of view is attractive to most women.

4. Grill her

Don’t bombard her with questions. So many men do this, and I’ve heard lots of women compare the process to “interviewing for a job that I don’t even know if I want.” No one goes to job interviews for fun. But isn’t the point of a first date to get to know each other? Yes – but getting to know each other is as much about chemistry and emotional fit as it is about comparing facts about each other.
Of course, you’ll want to ask some questions – and you should. But questions aren’t the only way to get information. If you tell her something about yourself, she’ll probably reciprocate with the same information. Or use statements or even guesses. Instead of asking her what she studied in college, take a guess. Instead of asking her how she felt on her canoe trip, tell her it sounds very fun and peaceful. And so on.

5. Dinner and a movie

This one won’t kill you completely, but it’s really not ideal. ‘Dinner & a movie’ dates are very conventional and will remind her of every other first date she’s been on instead of revealing your uniqueness. So, it will be a very dumb first date move. First date dinners can be awkward–you can’t touch, and there’s little external source of entertainment. Movies provide almost no opportunity to get to know each other.
Instead, take her somewhere more fun and interactive, like an eatery or a park. You can talk, touch, have fun, and be entertained. And she’ll probably love you for it.

6. Argue about facts or logic

It is okay to disagree with her. In fact, it’s good to do so a couple times, to show her that you’re your own man and not hung up on someone’s approval. But this is best done over subjective topics, where there is no right answer. She says she likes cucumbers; I say they are disgusting and apples are the bomb. And keep it playful.
What you don’t want to do is argue about whether Boko Haram is real, or who invented the electricity. Even if you know she’s wrong, even if you can prove she’s wrong by using Google, even if it’s completely common sense, let it go. If you see her again and develop something with her, there will be plenty of time to show her the truth later.

7. Brag about yourself

You absolutely want her to know about your best qualities. But you want to pass them to her in a way that she finds interesting, not braggy. It is a really dumb first date move out of many dumb first date moves to brag about yourself.
It’s natural to talk about yourself when you’re nervous or feel an awkward pause in the conversation. But it’s OK on dates to let a silence develop and let her fill it once in a while. It’s not like at a bar, where she could wander off any moment and you need to keep the energy level high at least for the first few minutes.
Tell a story about something you’d tell anyway, but fit in ‘incidental’ details for her to ‘discover’ about you.
For example, you could tell a funny story of something that happened at a restaurant, mentioning in passing this took place during you last trip to Paris. If the “Paris” angle is really incidental, the reference will seem incidental. In doing so, you’ve conveyed that you’re a traveler and must have at least a certain amount going for you.

8. Being negative

You’ve probably heard by now not to be negative about your ex-girlfriend, and that’s good advice. But it’s even better not to be negative in general. People who are negative about their family, friends, career, etc., usually aren’t very happy people or much fun to be around.
Just as importantly, guys who complain about everything don’t generally have very good lives. Instead of believing that everyone in your life has randomly done you wrong, she might reason that the common element in all of your complaints is You. Be positive. It’s easy to do and will make a big difference.

9. Making a second date

This might seem paradoxical. Presumably, if you are attracted to each other, you want a second date. That’s true, but you still don’t want to make the second date during the first, that is one of the craziest dumb first date moves.
Flirting and romantic tension is part of the process for a lot of women, and if she knows that she’s earned a second date already, that deprives her of wondering when you’re going to text or call to invite her out again. Press too quickly for a second date and she might start to doubt her attraction to you.
A partial exception – you can make vague long-term plans during any date as long they’re not specific – e.g., “You like Pizza too? Awesome, we should go to that new place on Allen Avenue sometime this summer.” Just don’t get specific or make firm plans.

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