GENUINE LOVE OR INFATUATION

Differentiating between love and infatuation is always complicated because both conditions share three similar symptoms; passion, a desire to be close, and strange emotions.

Passion

Passion may be present without genuine love. It is entirely possible, particularly for the male, to feel passionate for a woman he has never met. Passion does not necessarily indicate genuine love. Sometimes it is the major part of infatuation.

Love, however, is always based on more than sex, including sharing interests, values, goals and beliefs.

Infatuation is a stage that is too intense to last. Neither a man nor a woman can maintain such fierce passion for long, although they vow they will. If a relationship is based on passion, I give them three months tops and it’s over.

Desire to be close

The desire to be near someone constantly can just be as overwhelming in infatuation as in genuine love. You may wish to be together all the time, dreading the time when you must part. You may feel empty and lonely when your loved one is not with you, but this does not necessarily mean that it is real love.

Strange Emotions

Strange emotions can occur just as frequently with infatuation as with real love, although “funny feelings” and strange emotions are probably more indicative of infatuation. Genuine love encompasses more than a mixture of sick or giggly feelings and will continue long after such strange feelings subside.

However genuine love can be tested as all things. Here are a few tests that can separate genuine love from infatuation;

Testing For Genuine Love

1. Love develops slowly; infatuation rapidly
2. Love relies on compatibility; infatuation relies more on chemistry and physical appearance
3. Love centers on one person only; infatuation may involve several persons.
4. Love produces security; infatuation produces insecurity
5. Love recognizes realities; infatuation ignores them
6. Love motivates positive behaviour; infatuation has destructive effect
7. Love recognises faults; infatuation ignores them
8. Love controls physical contact; infatuation exploits it
9. Love is selfless; infatuation is selfish
10. Love brings the approval of family and friends; infatuation brings disapproval
11. Love ends slowly; infatuation ends rapidly
12. Love survives the test of time; infatuation can’t wait.

Know what love is and isn’t. Learn and try to find love not infatuation.

(culled from the book SMART LOVE by Nancy l. Van Pelt)

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