Marriage and Love?

Marriage hmm… A friend of mine, Chukwubuikem Anueyiagu wanted to share his idea on marriage and sent it to me to help post it for the world to see. I have my own understanding about marriage but let’s see Chukwubuikem’s view;

We Africans make Marriage a priority, if you’re rich, successful and not married, you are either a ritualist or a pervert, I mean I don’t blame them for thinking so, we are all human beings with sexual needs. The decision of getting that from one person for the rest of your life is actually left for one to make… I mean everyone has their own life to live and all that. But it was never written in the Bible that “Not Marrying” is a sin… Wasn’t it someone that said that,

Variety is the spice of life

I for one support it *winks*

Looking at our Generation and seeing how marriages fail nowadays… I just feel repulsed by the thought “Marriage“… I think I rather prefer just dating , why marriage? Why fix something that’s not broken? The problem with some couples nowadays is that when he decides to put a ring to it, things change, with the baby and the in-laws, the expectations from peers and all that. They try to be a perfect couple forgetting that no one is. Don’t get me wrong some have managed to make it work and that takes a lot of work and dedication, but before you start celebrating notice that most of them are not from our generation, mostly from our parents’.

Maybe it’s because there was no Instagram,Twitter or Telemundo then… Gave them time to be more realistic and pragmatic and to face and solve problems based on belief, upbringing or family background, common sense and not what Brad Pitt did in this movie or what Reese Witherspoon said in this sequel or a cute Meme a friend posted on some social network, forgive me if I say this but ladies these days are so dumb…

Marriage Grows, you don’t expect the spark to be there all the time (that is, the romance you guys had when you guys were still dating) and that’s the problem with couples these days. When they stop feeling it they get done with it… I’ve always told people “I like my Girlfriend” and “I’ll love my wife” Do you know what is LOVE? What our generation call LOVE nowadays is just mere INFATUATION. Love is not when you make cute outfits with each others’ nick names written on them OR make cute memes with each others’ name on it… LOVE is when he might not have anything but every second with him feels like a tour with DONALD TRUMP…

When you’re in love you won’t know… Let’s digress a little, I have this girlfriend and the week after she agreed to go out with me (after all the forming) whenever I call her, at the end of every call there was this long awkward silence (bonus airtime). Since she was my first official girlfriend, I felt obligated to say the “I love you” word, I also thought she felt obligated too, ergo the “long awkward silence”… because I’ve heard my friends say it on phone (just like what I said earlier about peers), me now, shy boy like me.

Okay one day after our call I got the courage to say it, I kinda brushed the word LOVE cause I knew within myself I didn’t mean half of it, the other half self I was shaky, in my mind I was like if this girl doesn’t say it back, I don eff up (too much foreign movies just like I said earlier). Luckily for me she said it, just like I did when I said mine, you know brushing off the LOVE word, I know maybe normally I’ll feel kinda bad or sad but I was angry, not at her, Hell no!! but at myself.

Why? well because I put her in a really tough position when I said it first so she felt obligated to say it too, but after some deep thoughts I got over it , in fact I liked her even more because she liked me too much to hurt my feelings and that meant a lot to me… We are still dating presently self and we promised not to say it i.e the “LOVE” word till we mean it to make sure the feeling is real and not just saying it because you don’t want to hurt my feelings.

I just hope you’ve learned something from my story, no one should make you feel obligated to say something you don’t feel. Love is too deep to be played with that is why many marriages fail these days.

Marriage is not Dating; this is someone you’re spending your entire life with, giving up pleasures for, so it’s not something to be played with, be sure you really love this person and not just mere infatuation.

How? well you can try living together before marriage, check if you guys are really compatible and of course SEX is off the table, because when you are apart there’s no friction or arguments and if you jump into marriage like that you are definitely going to hate that decision. Check if you can tolerate yourselves because if you can’t, then marriage is not really the best step to take… You can call it a TEST-DRIVE. My dad once told me,

there is a point in life when ROMANCE or LOVE dies and the thing you guys will be left with is the company of each other and that can be pulled off when there is communication and understanding. LOVE is the root of all marriages as MONEY is the root of all evil…

I’m not in any way suggesting that marriage is something bad, I’m just saying be sure before you jump into it. Don’t do it because Stunner is doing it or Melody is doing it… It’s your life, if you screw it up, the least Melody can do is pat you on your back and bring a box of tissue, if she is the emotional type she might cry with you.

The more you guys have in common the more the romance ,the more predictable your partner is and the more tired you get around each other BUT the less you guys have in common the more fun the marriage will be, the more unpredictable your partner is and the more you like each others’ company… Trust me! *smiles and winks*

Great ideology about marriage. I believe Chukwubuikem knows his sh*t and hope you guys understood him but one thing is clear if you want to really obey God’s rule that states,

go ye into the world and multiply

Then you have to get married so as not to commit fornication. Oh! am I preaching? hmm… cool! Anyway, if you are going to get married make sure it is the right person so you wouldn’t live your life in regret. Love y’all!!!

If you have your own story to share just send me a mail on khocee@frienditegloballimited.com, I’d be sure to give the world to see.

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