I remember the first time I stood up to a bully. I was in Primary 4, you know? I got my butt kicked. 
It all started when this jackass kept taking my lunch money but this time I was determined to get them back. So, one day, right in the middle of the playground I walked up to the bully and said,
Annabel! I ain’t taking this no more.
But then I remembered what my mom told me about fighting girls; punch, jab, weave…punch, jab, weave… I went into this blind and two hours later I woke up in the nurses office with a black eye. My friends told me there were only two hits; she hit me and she hit me again.
I’ll never forget that day but you know, I’ve grown up since then.
So Annabel if you are reading this, I want a rematch.
I remember the first time I ever told a lie. I was 6 years old. We had just come home from church and my mom started yelling,
who wrote Khocee on the parlour wall with purple crayon?
I hid the crayon behind my back and said,
Mom, I think Michael Jackson did it
She was like I should think again and I said,
Eddie Murphy
She asked me what she told me about lying, then I thought really hard and said,
oh! Mom you can forget things, when Uncle Joseph called you said you weren’t home.
At this my mom said I should go to my room until I stop lying. She put me out. I love you mom!
Some people you never forget, that includes Bisi Olatayo, the ugliest girl in JSS 2. And I don’t like to call people ugly but anyway, the end of the year party was coming and no one had asked Bisi to be their date. I didn’t think that was right so I walked up to her, looked her in her wandering eyes (it was the first time I was going to ask any girl out) and I said,
Bisi, would you be my date for the end of the year party?
and she said,
please, do you think I’d be caught dead dating Fido Dido?
And I learnt a valuable lesson that day; if I am to be insulted it should come from a tall Nubian princess than old pimpled face Bisi Olatayo.
So Bisi if you are out there I’m just wondering, did you shave the hair off your back yet?
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