Love according to Ellen McCarthy – Love is a controversial topic for me because unlike most people I think it’s nonexistent; as a kid, I believed in almost everything like Santa clause, Sand man, Tooth fairy and of course true love. But as I grew up, I realized that those believes were made just to give me hope. Well, that hasn’t changed yet, but I stumbled upon Ellen McCarthy’s research on love, it gives believers a clear insight on love and I decided to share it with you, you might benefit from a lesson or two on love.

Things you ought to know about love according to Ellen McCarthy:

1. You Can Learn to be Good at Love “We like to think that we’re going to meet the right person and everything will magically fall into place, rather than thinking this is an area in our life that we can invest in and endeavor to be good at,” says McCarthy. In other words, romantic relationships are just like fitness, your finances, or your career—something you can put effort into and then see results. ’Love according to Ellen McCarthhy ’’
2. Changing Who You Are to Impress Someone Never Pays Off McCarthy met a woman named Rebecca who spent her twenties contorting herself to please whatever guy she was dating at the moment. This approach was giving her stress headaches, and she eventually decided to give up pretending to be someone she wasn’t. So she treated herself to a week of ski school out West and got more in touch with herself than she’d been in years. That’s when she and her Argentinian ski school instructor fell in love. ‘’Love according to Ellen McCarthhy ’’
3. Comfort Trumps Fireworks Every Time One word that McCarthy kept hearing again and again when interviewing couples about why they picked that person to spend the rest of their life with? Comfortable. But that’s not necessarily what people think to look for when they’re on the hunt for the ultimate lover. “We’re taught to look for lightning strikes, passion, and fireworks,” says McCarthy. But comfort makes a whole lot of sense. In a long-term marriage, you need to be able to let down your guard. ’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’
4. Expectations? Yeah, You Can Throw Those Out the Window People think that finding the right person means that things will be perfect for the rest of their lives. But all relationships involve challenges and disagreements. To stay level-headed, it’s a good idea to lower your expectations of marriage and your spouse. You shouldn’t expect your partner to be your everything—your best friend, financial equal, co-parent, fulfiller of every sexual need, and entire support system. “It’s too much to place on anyone’s shoulders,” says McCarthy. It’s also just plain unrealistic. ’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’
5. There’s Nothing Wrong with Online Dating Of the hundreds of couples McCarthy has met, she estimates that 30 to 40 percent of them met online. So for those of us who expect to meet our mate in some movie-worthy Nora Ephron-esque way, it’s probably never going to happen. “Who approaches a stranger in the produce aisle of the grocery store anymore?” asks McCarthy. She has a point. But the problem with online dating, she thinks, is that it can make people out to be products. Friendite.com isn’t Amazon.com, McCarthy warns. The stigma of online dating is almost entirely gone, but we shouldn’t short-sell the people on the other side of the screen. ‘’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’
6. The Right Person Isn’t Going to Come in the Packaging You Expect One woman McCarthy came across really wanted a guy who could reach things high on a shelf. To her surprise, she fell in love with a shorter dude. Even McCarthy herself ended up with someone she never would have expected: She got married to a younger Jewish man who roots for the Washington Redskins in November 2012; even though she thought she’d end up with an older Irish, Catholic Buffalo Bills fan. It’s important to open your eyes and broaden your heart beyond any preconceived notion of what your perfect person will look like. ’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’
7. The Golden Rule Will Help Your Relationship Stand the Test of Time McCarthy learned this simple lesson from Bob and Henry, a couple who met and fell in love during World War II but concealed their relationship for decades. She thought their secret to a strong relationship would have to do with perseverance or not caring what people said. But their words of wisdom were: “You have to be polite and be nice.” Treating your partner with the same courtesy and kindness as you would a stranger or a waiter is a pretty easy thing to do. ‘’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’
8. Your Body Knows When Love Is True It’s natural to have doubts about your relationship from time to time. One thing that can help? Turning inward and asking yourself some key questions: Does this person feel like home? Can you breathe really well around him, or are you sucking in your stomach, holding your breath, or walking on egg shells? Ask yourself how staying with this person makes you feel. Ask yourself how leaving this person makes you feel. Your gut reaction to these questions will be very telling. ’Love according to Ellen McCarthy ’’

According to Ellen McCarthy, Love is not bliss, it takes lots of work and dedication. And I pray to be a believer someday.

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