Most of the time I’m sad, so i try to make this second reality in my head where it’s all good and I’m almost happy. I read somewhere that if a person is always angry all they need is someone to love them oh she should have stayed… I’m not always like this i promise I’m not, i really don’t know, I’m so nice to most people but people are never half as nice to me
Sometimes i wonder does it really matter? i tell myself lies that make sense to just me, because i don’t want to accept the truth not because i can’t feel it but because i cant accept it , i think i can change it but come to think of it what was she to me, lust? No i doubt that because i never looked like her in that way, infatuation, i can’t really say probably love but i really don’t know the meaning maybe because i asked her out too early or i tired too hard i don’t know but really i feel alone cant help but think, she should have stayed 
Probably wrong timing, it’s just that now it doesn’t feel real with any other person I’m just too quick to pick the fault, ok you guys should help me chose, when it comes to her i can’t find any fault , but now I’m also sure she’ll never see me in that way, i can’t help but wonder why and how something so pure can go to waste but oh well I’m not the mastermind, after this i promise to stop picking on the past , I’ll keep my mind open to different things, I’m responsible
And now i think to myself , who am i to judge a person ,or to hate a person for being who they are , life should be called “choices” because basically that’s what it is, everyday we’re faced with the same choices Good or Evil its all choices why didn’t she chose to stay? i don’t know, so finally i have decided to take a practical view of everything that comes my way i chose to believe every little has a greater purpose
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